Love Phrases in Polish

I love you in Polish is Kocham cię. For "I like you", say Lubię cię if you mean as a friend and Podobasz mi się if you find someone attractive.

I love you in Polish: kocham cię

Kocham cię means "I love you". Kocham is "I love" (from kochać, to love) and cię is the short form of "you". Because the verb ending already shows who is speaking, Polish doesn't need ja (I) at the start.

Cię never starts a sentence and is never stressed. To stress "you", use the long form ciebie and put it first: Ciebie kocham, nie jego means "It's you I love, not him". In letters and messages, many people write Kocham Cię with a capital C as a sign of affection.

Poles use kocham cię with partners and close family: parents say it to children, and adults to their parents (Kocham cię, mamo). It is not used between friends the way English speakers say "love you!" to a friend. With friends you would say Jesteś kochany (to a man) or Jesteś kochana (to a woman), "You're a sweetheart", or jokingly Uwielbiam cię, "I adore you".

Past tense verbs change with the speaker's gender, so a man and a woman say some love phrases differently: Tęskniłem za tobą (man) and Tęskniłam za tobą (woman) both mean "I missed you".

I like you: lubię cię or podobasz mi się

English "I like you" has two different meanings, and Polish uses two different phrases for them. Mixing them up can send the wrong message.

Lubić works like English "like": Lubię cię, Lubię Kasię, Lubię kawę. It is warm but not romantic. Said to someone you have a crush on, it can sound like "let's be friends".

Podobać się works the other way round, like "please" in English. The person you like is the subject, and you are the one being pleased: Podobasz mi się is literally "you please me". It is the natural way to say you are attracted to someone. With things, it means you like how something looks or feels:

• Ona mi się bardzo podoba.
  I really like her. I fancy her.
• On ci się podoba?
  Do you fancy him?
• Podoba mi się twoja sukienka.
  I like your dress.
• Lubię spędzać z tobą czas.
  I like spending time with you.

Terms of endearment

Polish pet names are mostly diminutives, small and cute versions of ordinary words. When you call someone by one, use the vocative case, the form for addressing a person. That is why skarb becomes skarbie and miś becomes misiu.

Names get the same treatment. Katarzyna becomes Kasia and then, very tenderly, Kasieńka. Tomasz becomes Tomek and then Tomuś or Tomeczek. You can also add moje, "my": kochanie moje, "my darling". Kochanie is used with children too, by parents and grandparents.

Some useful words for relationships:

Be careful with kochanek and kochanka. They come from the same root as kochanie, but they usually mean a secret lover. Introducing your girlfriend as moja kochanka would cause a scene. Say moja dziewczyna or moja partnerka.

Compliments in Polish

Adjectives change with the gender of the person: the ending -y or -i for a man, -a for a woman.

Dating phrases

The verb for arranging a date is umówić się, and being in a relationship is chodzić ze sobą, literally "to walk with each other".

• Masz ochotę na kawę?
  Do you fancy a coffee?
• Umówisz się ze mną?
  Will you go out with me?
• Pójdziesz ze mną na kolację?
  Will you go to dinner with me?
• Dasz mi swój numer?
  Will you give me your number?
• Spotkamy się jeszcze?
  Shall we meet again?
• Świetnie się bawiłem. / Świetnie się bawiłam.
  I had a great time. (man / woman)
• Odprowadzę cię do domu.
  I'll walk you home.
• Napisz, jak dojedziesz.
  Text me when you get home.
• Chodzimy ze sobą od roku.
  We've been going out for a year.
• Jesteśmy razem.
  We're together.
• Wyjdziesz za mnie?
  Will you marry me? (to a woman)
• Ożenisz się ze mną?
  Will you marry me? (to a man)

The two proposals are different because Polish has different verbs for marrying. A woman wychodzi za mąż (literally "goes out behind a husband") and a man żeni się. The usual proposal is Wyjdziesz za mnie?, since in Poland it is still mostly the man who proposes, with a ring, the pierścionek zaręczynowy.

Valentine's Day and Women's Day

Valentine's Day, walentynki, arrived in Poland in the 1990s and is now popular, especially with young couples: flowers, chocolates, a dinner out and a card called a walentynka. Some people find it too commercial, and older Poles may ignore it.

For many Poles, Dzień Kobiet on 8 March matters as much as Valentine's Day. Men give flowers to their partners, mothers, daughters and female colleagues. Forgetting it is a real mistake. When you give flowers, remember the Polish custom of an odd number of stems; even numbers are for funerals.

How formality works between partners

Couples always use ty, the informal "you". The formal pan (to a man) and pani (to a woman) are for strangers and people you don't know well. Two adults meeting for the first time, outside of apps and student life, may start with pan and pani, then switch to ty. This switch is called przejść na ty, and traditionally the woman or the older person suggests it.

• Może przejdziemy na ty?
  Shall we switch to ty? (first names)
• Jestem Kasia. Mów mi Kasia.
  I'm Kasia. Call me Kasia.
• Czy mogę mówić do ciebie po imieniu?
  Can I call you by your first name?

On dating apps and among people under about forty, ty is normal from the first message. Meeting your partner's parents is different: start with pan and pani and let them offer ty or first names. After the wedding, some people call their in-laws mamo and tato, which is traditional, while others use first names.